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I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to watch both out of laziness (sorry High Life, Ash is the Purest White, Antlantics) and lack of availability (us hicks in the “flyover states” are not good enough for Portrait of a Lady on Fire, it seems), but at over 90 films seen, things here are unlikely to change. But you know what, it will all change as time goes by and I will continue to update my letterboxd list as needed.

Anyways, here’s my top 20 movies of the year, and the usual superlatives and shenanigans.

Top 20

20.

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Doctor Sleep

Directed by Mike Flanagan

A sequel to Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining that mostly manages to escape the shadow of its predecessor by embracing it’s own aesthetic and being a thrilling, melancholic horror drama on its own merits.

19.

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The Farewell

Directed by Lulu Wang

I laughed, I cried, and it made me reflect on the traditions we all have when it comes to the impending death of a loved one even if this film is very culturally specific. Awkwafina and Zhao Shuzhen rule.

18.

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Ad Astra

Directed by James Gray

The first two acts are a gorgeous-looking, thrilling (and sometimes silly) space adventure about a sad astronaut trying to reconnect with his father to save the world. In the last third, we get the payoff we have been waiting for and it become an emotional experience unlike any other.

17.

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Marriage Story

Directed by Noah Baumbach

I love to see two great actors go at it with material that matches their talents. Not Baumbach’s best movie of the decade, but the filmmaker is still at the peak of his powers.

16.

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Knives Out

Directed by Rian Johnson

I was always predisposed to love a whoddunit with impeccable craft, a witty script with ideas, a cast giving it their all while having the time of their lives (particularly Daniel Craig with his beloved over-the-top southern accent).

15.

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Dark Waters

Directed by Todd Haynes

Todd Haynes takes what in other hands would be a basic “man vs. the system” procedural and turns it into a sort of horror film that wants to scare us into taking matters into our own hands and demand a better world.

14.

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Her Smell

Directed by Alex Ross Perry

Elisabeth Moss gives the best performance of the year in one of the most intense movie experiences of the year. This film wants you to feel depressed, anxious, and angry as you watch a woman self-destruct despite the better efforts of everyone around her. Despite all this, it’s impossible to turn away from the screen and for your efforts the film rewards you with an ending that makes it all worth it.

13.

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Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

Tarantino has crafted a gorgeous, meticulous, emotional world that is easily to get lost in. Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt are at their very best. The final scene packs a punch in a way none of his films ever have.

12.

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The Lighthouse

Directed by Robert Eggers

This movie is obnoxious, gorgeous, haunting, disgusting, intense, and most of all incredibly entertaining. Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe chew the scenery beautifully.

11.

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Primal

Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky

I included this because there was a theatrical version released in theaters in order to qualify for the Best Animated Feature Oscar. Though the theatrical version is lesser to the television one because it omits the last episode of the series, the whole thing remains an exemplary achievement in animation. The film is both beautiful and brutal, telling a basic story about unlikely friends being brought together by tragedy and is also a great study on what drives humanity to survive. Each episode kept me on the edge of my seat leading to a shocking finale that is still etched in my memory. Now that Genndy Tartakovsky is finally out of Hotel Transylvania prison and finished Samurai Jack, I hope he continues to expand what the animated medium can do.

10 (Tie).

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The Blonde One / End of the Century

Directed by Marco Berger / Julio Castro

While it might seem like we’ve had more than enough movies about hot gay men longing for connection and companionship, 2019 saw the release of two productions from Argentina that reminded us how fresh these movies can feel given the right approach.

The Blonde One is the most straight-forward one in terms of storytelling. It tells the story of two roommates and whether they will fall for each other. What makes it more compelling than it sounds is that the story plays out. It is primarily a love story, but as the characters fall deeper for each other the real world starts butting in, and makes the characters having to decide how they will move forward in their lives. I’m perhaps not doing a good job stating why I love it but give it a shot and let Marco Berger’s camera and the performances from the two lead performers convince you.

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End of the Century, meanwhile, has a much more ambitious approach to explore the romantic life of modern gay men. It uses three timelines (one in the present, one in the past compromised by how memories work, and one imagined future), to show how life has changed for the community in 20 years, how things that were never thought possible happened, and how a seemingly-minor decision taken many years ago affected the entire course of sever lives. Lucio Castro’s directorial debut is ambition s and assured and left me in awe by the end of it. I’m also doing a terrible to sell you all on this, but trust me, it’s a thing of beauty

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Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé

Directed by Beyoncé Knowles-Carter

The past decade saw Beyoncé become a completely different artist than she had been in the past. With Homecoming we get to see her at the highest point of her career so far. Through an elaborate spectacle and behind the scenes footage we get a peek into what makes her tick as an artist and as a person and what she wanted to achieve with her historic Coachella performance. Sure, we are getting to see exactly what she wants us to see, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that this all led to a live performance from the ages, and to one of the greatest concert films that have ever been made.

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The Irishman

Directed by Martin Scorsese

I did not jive with The Irishman in the same way that others did, but the fact remains that this is clearly the work of a master who still has a lot to say. Martin Scorsese and writer Steve Zaillian take Frank Sheeran’s controversial memoir and use it as a foundation to create a portrait of a life wasted in pursuit of a whiff of admiration from people who got their power by exploiting their fellow men. Although it may feel like Scorsese is revisiting material that is too familiar too him, by the time the last 40 minutes roll around, the film has become an exploration of whether or not such a life, one where you caused pain to many people directly or indirectly was worth it for a few moments of glory. I look forward to revisiting this in the years to come.

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I Lost My Body

Directed by Jérémy Clapin

I Lost My Body may be about a severed hand trying to make its way back to its owner, but it somehow manages to be one of the most emotional experiences of the year. Through this odd concept we flashback to the life of the man who lost the hand, from his childhood to the aftermath of the incident. We then explore the effects that tragic experiences and the trauma that follows have on people throughout their lives and the extremes one has to go through in order to come to terms with them. The beautiful animation and Dan Levy’s score are the cherry on top that makes it an extraordinary film.

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A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Directed by Marielle Heller

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood is perhaps my biggest surprise of the year. I didn’t really know much about Fred Rogers other than he was a TV personality a lot of people liked, but by about the 10-minute mark, I was already in tears. The film is not about Mr. Roger’s life story, but about a journalist who was tasked with profiling him for a magazine. This is a standard story about fatherhood and daddy issues, but adding Mr. Rogers to the mix makes it more interesting as it allows us to see the impact that his personality and philosophies actually had on people. This makes for a much more interesting movie than one that explained what happened in his life that made him want to spend his life selling us on the benefits of kindness.

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Little Women

Directed by Greta Gerwig

The thing that has stuck with me the most about Greta Gerwig’s take on Little Women is how alive it feels. It’s a period piece that doesn’t feel like one, and not because it uses modern music or modern lingo, but rather because Gerwig understands that for Luisa May Alcott her book reflected her modern times. The film is structured in such a way that allows us to better place our selves in the shoes of the characters rather than make us feel like we are observing them from a distance. This makes the emotions experienced by the characters, whether it is joy, sorrow, desperation, or regret, have a stronger effect on us the viewers. As excited as I was about this after Lady Bird, this somehow managed to surprise me and surpass my expectations.

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Transit

Directed by Christian Petzold

Transit is a World War II story that had me entranced from the very beginning and left me speechless by the end. It makes the plight of the people who tried to find an escape from Europe as the Nazi threat grew seem alive in a way that we have never experienced in a film before. Christian Petzold’s take on the material makes it a chilling reminder of how, with the way things are going in our world today, we could easily go back to the way things were back during those times.

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Pain & Glory

Directed by Pedro Almodovar

Pedro Almodovar has made me feel all kinds of emotions in his movies, but never have I ever felt so simply moved. This is semi-autobiographical story about a director dealing with his chronic pain as well as everything that comes with the latter stages of his life and career. It tells us how we are the sum of the experiences that we have lived and how even as we feel the time has come for us to just give up, we can find a new lease in life by making good with those experiences that weight heavy on us and just looking to the future. Antonio Banderas gives the very best performance of his career as the director, but credit must also be given to Leonardo Sbaraglia, Asier Etxeandia, and Julieta Serrano for beautifully bringing to life the characters that make the film resonate as much as it does.

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Synonyms

Directed by Nadav Lapid

Through Tom Mercier’s magnetic, aggressive performance and Shai Goldman’s cinematography, Nadav Lapid perfectly captures the feeling of chaos that one gets from trying the impossible task of shedding one’s cultural identity. Synonyms is a fun, erotic, and uncomfortable reminder that there are some aspects of our lives that will always be part of us, and while we don’t have to be defined by them, trying to hide them will only result in further loss of identity and more problems than those we tried to get away from.

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Parasite

Directed by Bong Joon-ho

From the beginning, Parasite had me with its ingenious dark caper comedy aspects. Once we got to the half-way point and the plot becomes much more complex, I could not believe how things were unfolding. This movie is a masterclass in filmmaking: from the brilliantly structured script to the immaculate direction that walk the tightrope between all the delicate tonal shifts. I was on the edge of my seat every single time I have seen it, even though I already know what’s going to happen. But what’s stayed with me the most is how it reveals itself to be a commentary on class warfare and how he approaches the subject as bluntly as possible while still ringing true and not making it feel like he’s forcing a moral upon you.