Sucker Punch | Zack Snyder, 2011
I’ve seen my fair share of terrible movies. Whenever I watch one, I feel like tearing the film apart, like I want to kick everyone that was involved in the making of the movie for making such a terrible thing. But Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch made me feel something that no movie has ever made me feel. After sitting there for over 90 minutes, watching excruciating scene after excruciating scene, I actually hated myself. I should not have let the handsome trailers fooled me and should have listened to the critics and to the public who ignored it. It is one of the worst things I have ever seen.
Sucker Punch follows Baby Doll (Emily Browning), a girl whose mother dies, and whose evil step father has her locked up in a mental asylum to have her lobotomized. That will happen in five days, so she has to escape. She enlists the help of Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens), and Amber (Jamie Chung), and she sets about her plan. This plan, as we see it in the movie, involves samurai swords, dragons, zombies, blimps, and giant robots, among other things.
Yeah, so, there is nothing good about this movie. We have come to at least expect some visual pizzaz from Snyder, but here he over does it way too much. The result is one of most aesthetically ugly movies that I have ever seen. The cinematography is ugly, the visual effects are terrible, the sets look way too fake, even for a movie that takes place inside a character’s mind for most of the running time. And finally, the costumes, they bring me to another thing that made me hate myself.
This movie is supposed to be all about female empowerment and all that. But the thing is, having hot young women shooting guns and wielding swords does not make female empowerment. How can they say that is the ultimate goal of the movie when these girls are being objectified at the same time, with them running around with very short skirts, or in leotards so tight that their books look like they might pop out any minute? This is actually more like an exploitation film, not the Pam Grier kind that actually features an empowering female lead, but the truly exploitative kind. If you want to watch a true female empowerment features from this year, please watch Joe Wright’s Hanna.
And then that ending. It not only make everything that happened before it completely pointless, but it doesn’t achieve any thing. Plus, after sitting through all of that I expected a happy ending. but we couldn’t even get that.
That’s all I can say about this. I didn’t mention the cast, but it’s not really talking about. The only one that seemed to be trying was Jenna Malone, but because of how poorly written the script is, no matter how hard she tried she could not go anywhere.
Just fucking terrible.