Review: The Twilight Saga-Eclipse

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse | David Slade, 2010

On my short review of New Moon, I said that frankly, I didn’t care for this whole Twilight craze. Sure, I do wish that young girls and their moms were reading better-written vampire novels, and watching better vampire movies. But I’m not gonna trash them for liking crap, I’ll just let their brains fill with horrible fantasies that makes the whole feminist movement take a ton of steps back. And why do I watch these movies you may ask. The reason is that I want to justly be able to trash the world that Stephenie Meyer “dreamt up.” But even though I hate the story with passion, I surprisingly don’t feel like trashing the movie. It is still a failure, but not quite an epic failure as the other two installments.

In Eclipse we learn that while Bella (Kristen Stewart) was saving Edward (Robert Pattinson) from revealing himself as a person with shiny skin to a bunch of Italians, Victoria (now played by Bryce Dallas Howard) has been building an army of newborn vampires to destroy the Cullens and avenge her beloved James. But the Cullens don’t know this, even with their superpowers, because she is using this other dude that she turned into a vampire and told him that she was doing it so that they can be together.  Then there’s the whole deal about Bella wanting to turn into a vampire and to have sex but Edward doesn’t want to do it until they are married. And Jacob (Taylor Lautner) wants her for himself.

Let me just get the bad out of the way. First off, the story is as horrible as ever. Second, the main characters are still uninteresting, especially Bella who continues to be selfish and a tease. I mean, can’t these guys see that she is just toying with their emotions. Every time they are around her they want to tear each other apart, but when they are alone, or she can’t hear them, it turns out that they can have a civilized conversation. Then there are the lead performances. Kristen Steart can be a good actress, but you wouldn’t know it from this. All she does is look depressed and constipated. Pattinson does the same. Taylor Lautner is actually not that bad. It seems like he is the only one that doesn’t take everything too seriously. Everyone else, especially Bryce Dallas Howard, is wasting their time and talent

Now, the reason why I can’t hate it is because it is the most self-aware movie of the series. It seem as if David Slade knew that he was going to make a turd, and he just embraced the fact and didn’t take it too seriously. Plus, he managed to make part of the movie entertaining with some cool action scenes. And because of him, the movie is better crafted than the other two.

Eclipse is easily the best of the Twilight movies (I doubt the others will be any better despite the fact that a competent director behind them), but it is still bad. I don’t mind people liking this, but I just wish the fad would die faster and that this story doesn’t see the light of day after the release of Breaking Dawn 2.


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